Sometimes I think I take things too personally. I mean if someone tells you there is an iron in their house, they could just be letting you know they have an iron, right? It isn't necessarily a personal affront. It doesn't have to mean that said person puts you on par with a laundress or is hinting that the reason B doesn't have a job is because I don't iron his shirts.
Being asked to sit at the kitchen counter with your back towards everyone doesn't mean that they aren't interested in sharing a meal with you. Okay I am not sure what else it could mean beyond if you sit on the chair at the table it could break. I really need to try and let this one go.
Last night I stayed up doing the laundry until 4:30am. Then I went to bed with my iPod that starting playing sad songs. I started balling my eyes out. Even worse I replayed some of said songs. Maybe I just needed to get it out. Most of the sadness was about missing my Mom.
It is really hard watching mother/child relationships. Okay it is hard to watch unwholesome parent/child relationships. It makes me both angry and sad. The anger has lately rushed through me where I want to break things, especially glass. Lots of glass. I am able to imagine the shattering and move on. I am not sure what that says about me.
I just wish my feet would stop swelling. I drank over 2 liters of water yesterday. More of the same today, I guess.