heading east

Flight4a
Flight4b
Flight4c

The Super Shuttle arrived this morning at 8:30am to take them to LAX.  I was awake, but didn't go downstairs. I don't like goodbyes, and I am not good at faking emotions. It doesn't make me sad to see them leave. And it isn't like they aren't coming back.

I stayed home today to catch up on the laundry. It has been 10 days. B's Mom kept putting things in the washing machine, but not running it. She once told me that it was because she wanted the load to be full. I didn't tell her that the model she has allows you to select the water capacity. I know she knows that. It was just another reminder that this is her house, not mine. Thank goodness I own at least three weeks worth of underwear.

The first thing I did when I came downstairs was to clean out the new fridge. There was rotting fruit, fish, and rice that we were not going to eat. It really bugs me how much food they just stick in the fridge with the 'intention' of eating. It is gross and it makes the other food smell and sometimes even go bad.

Despite that there was a dozen eggs, they went out and bought 18 more because they went to CostCo. So now there are two dozen eggs in the fridge, for two people. This after she told B that at least two of his relatives are on medication for high cholesterol. Why? Because they were cheap – that is why.

I know I shouldn't let this crap get to me, but it does bother me. I am trying to just rejoice that we have about two weeks of respite. Of course I need to delouse the house as B's mother caught the plague during her cleaning spell. She almost didn't get on the plane this morning. She went to see her brother, who is a radiologist, and he took an x-ray of her lungs to see if she had pneumonia. She wanted to know about her bone density, and he told her she didn't have a back bone. Good try, Uncle P, but you need to brush up on what the idioms mean.

p.s. Looks like they caught a tail wind and are now only 8 minutes off schedule.

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5 Responses to heading east

  1. KeyLimeTwist says:

    Sounds stressful to be living there. I could manage my MIL she and I are quite alike, but my FIL, he rubs me the wrong way without any effort at all. Its nice that you get a break, I have noticed it gets tough to have so many adults in a household at once. It kind of the proverbial "too many cooks" even when you let the house owner be the person in charge, its hard to balance being an adult in the house without being the head of the house.

  2. chris says:

    It is a complicated situation as this isn't our house, it is B's parents. And I am grateful to have a roof over our heads. I truly am. It is jst so hard to watch his family interact, or fail to interact.B's sister was also here. She is about to turn 37 and lives with her parents (as is custom). The trouble is when she is in the US she has no outlet. She doesn't have a driver's license (she wasn't encouraged to get one), and public transit in this neck of the woods is non-existent. So she becomes a third wheel to her parents, who won't fess up to the the role they play in it. We have tried to invite her out with us, but she always turns us down.Last weekend the parents got invited last minute to a wedding. It was an invite where someone canceled and the mother of the groom needed to fill seats she was paying for. The parents explained that they had their daughter with them, and managed to get her a seat (although from the sound of things it was at another table). The sister didn't want to go to the wedding to begin with. There were stories that the parents of the groom and her parents at one point had talked about setting them up (it never happened, but still). This seemed like an opportunity to tell her to do something with her brother or just watch TV or read a book or something.I guess what is really hard is that B's parents don't really act like adults and don't treat other people like adults. And of course they deny it. It is crazy making.

  3. KeyLimeTwist says:

    I think it is entirely possible to be grateful for the roof, and be driven crazy all at the same time. Maybe you have to have both, being grateful keeps you from killing them in their sleep, and them driving you crazy assures you will leave the house someday, lol.I found when hubby and I got married the family differences where tough, we went on Wheat Harvest with his Dad the first summer after we got married. Making his Dad my boss, and Hubby too in a way. Like I said before I think I could live with MIL, but FIL and I could not be more different. (I'm not sure how MIL lived with him until the boys where grown.) I always thought a lot of those things stemmed from the start of life where you think your life is normal and are surprised every time you find out someone else's life is different than yours. We like to do things our way it makes sense and it is normal. Maybe for you FIL going for coffee or a drive is not a good enough reason to leave the house( he could make coffee at home and its a waste of gas to just drive around) so he has to take the trash. You could get them to stop using your bags by getting the reusables.. lol.. I've been sneaking 1 or 2 into my grocery budget every time I go to the store lately, I think I have enough now. Now the hard part is remembering to take them into the store with me. lol. (I have a friend who wants to cut up the plastic bags to make plarn and knit up reusable bags, I was thinking of making them all into a raincoat. we plan to get on a few projects this summer.)The sister is a tough one. Would she be less intimidated to go out alone with you rather than with you and B as a couple? maybe just out to coffee? Maybe a "gee we don't seem to know each other well" and I'd like to take you for coffee kinda thing? I don't know… My younger brother lived at home until 3 years ago, and then he bought the house so he still lives there but my parents moved. He did go to a lot of things with my parents, things they where going to all do anyway, church, family events, mostly he did drive himself, but some of the time he rode with them, he liked being independent and coming and going as he pleased. He did do my Mom the courtesy of letting her know if he would be around for dinner, but he also goes out with friends quite a bit. My hubby thought he wasn't independent enough, but I dont know, I think if everyone is happy its one thing, if someone isnt it's another.

  4. chris says:

    The really really odd part is that secretly I think they wish we would stay here long term. More so that they would have a reason to tell people that they couldn't use the place to vacation. And of course it gives them that feeling of control. There is no empathy for the fact that I haven't slept in my own bed for nearly two years.B let out that he had been researching cars. Yes, our car is old and approaching 200K. But it runs well and gets over 35mpg. We are both aware that the day will come. At the same time we are both aware that there are other priorities (like getting out of here). Still his Dad hinted he should buy a Mercedes from CostCo and his Mother nearly jumped for joy when B talked to her brother about BMW's. I think this is more about having something to brag about. I think when we do get a car it should be a 2-seater so we can't do airport runs. These people are beyond warped.We do use cloth bags (and yes, leave them in the car on occasion). There are a few stores though where we end up getting plastic bags (Target and Ralphs). The good news is that LA County is trying to ban the plastic bags. We should really just buy some trash bags already. I like your raincoat idea. :)I haven't tried to do a one-on-one with the sister, but I figure if she wouldn't go out with her brother, she wouldn't go out with me. I agree it would be fine if she were happy, but that isn't the impression I get. She sulks in her room like a 12-year old. It isn't healthy.Apparently the parents see her as a third wheel, but of course take no responsibility for their role in it. The father called to take care of her jury duty notice. She turns 37 next Saturday. She speaks English as her first language. She isn't stupid.

  5. KeyLimeTwist says:

    Maybe the the need for control, the need to have a scapegoat and the need to have something to complain about all at once.. One of my friends to whom most of my complaining is done, and vice versa, we both say that, that we just needed something to complain about, when we are complaining about something insignificant, or something we did to ourselves.Odd reaction to the car thing.. my parents had they wanted my brother gone would have been push more reasonable/ less expensive (i dont know which way to put it…lol) options on a car search. Maybe they like having you both there knowing it wont last.. The raincoat was something I saw on the craftzine blog, it was an etsy link.. It was quite cool, I thought about ironing bags to a piece of cotton so the plastic would not be on my skin.. plus if I use clear bags I can use cute fabric…. It could be the project from hades…. It doesn't sound like a healthy situation for the sister.. that is kind of sad. I think sometimes healthy happy or not we remain in a bad place because it is comfortable.

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