One of the problems I have with communicating with my in-laws is that I am never quite sure what to say to some of the things that spill forth from their mouths. Here is a good example.
Last night, B’s mother was making what she calls Caesar salad dressing. Basically she mixes mayonnaise with some mustard, adds some garlic and pepper and tosses it with lettuce. She tells me they eat this most nights.
As she was cleaning and running the lettuce through the salad spinner, I got out the things she needed from the fridge. This included a jar of Trader Joe’s Dijon mustard (which retails for about $3), which happened to be new and unopened. I took off the plastic around the lid and opened it for her.
When she realized it was a new jar of mustard, she was hesitant to use it. She asked me if I was sure it was okay. I told her it was fine. We recently used the last of the old jar. Then she tells me, she should have brought her white jar of French mustard from home with her. It is open already. And here where I was stumped.
I mean, what do you say to such craziness? It is easier to talk to a drunk. In my head, I was thinking, “Why would you bring a fucking open jar of mustard on a plane over 7000 miles across the Pacific Ocean, especially when there is a fresh jar of mustard right here? Are you fucking insane?!”
When I told B this, he suggested that what I was thinking was fine – minus the swear words, of course. And probably the bit about asking her if she was crazy. I already know the answer anyway.