lucy and ethel at it again

Within about 2 minutes of their arrival, almost the first thing out of their mouths was the announcement that John was getting married. There was no context. Just, “John is getting married.”

It took me a minute to figure out that the John was Mr & Mrs C’s youngest son (he is in his 40s but their oldest children are in their 60s). It would seem that he was getting married in Palm Springs (or maybe Vegas) on B’s birthday. Well, maybe they got things mixed up too. But it didn’t matter because they weren’t going, although they were invited.

This really confused me. I mean, not for anything but Mr & Mrs C are their best friends. They have known each other over 40 years. They settled on the location of the lake cabin to be closer to them. The list goes on and on. I thought maybe it was because the wedding (which was really only the reception) was on B’s birthday, except that it really wasn’t. It seemed more that they did not want to drive out to Palm Springs, which would have required renting a car and spending money.

But here is how things went down. On the Saturday before B’s birthday, the outlaws left the house around 11am to go pick up Mrs C and take her to Costco (even though they had just been the day before). They would then come back to the house and go back later in the afternoon to take Mrs C to church. And then after that, we could go out to dinner. That was the plan, anyway.

When they arrived at Mrs C’s house, it would seem that she was not getting ready to go to Costco, but was instead getting ready to attend the wedding of her son. Mr C was refusing to go. Mr C is now in his 90s, and is pretty much blind and starting to lose his memory. He fades in and out like a hotel clock radio, switching years like stations. His short term memory is probably the most impacted, so he forgets what he said or what you told him a few minutes ago. Meanwhile Mrs C is going deaf.

The thing is that they were getting Mr C ready to go. The Beast reported that someone had trimmed his nails and combed his hair so he looked more presentable. Someone had even put out a suit for him to wear. But somehow the outlaws decided to get involved and now they were agreeing to babysit Mr C until Mrs C got back from her son’s wedding reception in Palm Springs. I know that if someone pulled something like this with the Beast’s father, she would be livid, but they really don’t get it. They didn’t get that this is most likely the last big family celebration this family would have together.

The outlaws instead thought that the children of Mr and Mrs C did not handle things well. They felt that they should have hired a driver to take their parents to and from Palm Springs. We tried to explain to them that 1) this would most likely require a limo service which is expensive, and 2)would require an upfront non-refundable deposit, which they would lose if Mr and Mrs C decided not to go at the last minute.

As best as we can tell, it sounded like all the (adult) children of Mr and Mrs C were already in Palm Springs or on their way when Mrs C decided to attend because John called her crying. There is a lot of drama. So that meant finding someone willing to drive them, who hadn’t left LA.

They did manage to find someone, but it turned out that their car (a BMW) really wasn’t big enough, so Mrs C offered up the car in their garage. Now keep in mind that Mrs C has never learned to drive, and Mr C no longer can drive because he is blind. Mr C was livid but Mrs C got her way and they were off.

The outlaws were told to get Mr C a hamburger from In N Out for his lunch, which they did around 4pm. First though, they stopped off at the house to feed themselves. By this point we had been told that all the day’s plans had been changed because of the wedding (and them sticking their noses where they don’t belong). I had literally just chucked out the Chinese chicken that B got on Tuesday as it was Saturday, and they said they weren’t coming back to the house until late in the evening. I figured it was past its prime. Oh well.

They ate and left, but then came back around 8:30 for dinner. Again, we were not expecting them, but I had made enough grilled fish. Unfortunately Mr C is allergic to all seafood. Again, I had no idea that I would be asked to make dinner for Mr C. So they ended up running over to a nearby Chinese takeout place and getting something for him, and then came back to the house to eat. I overheard them say something like if they were feeding Mr C, he would last another 10 years. They really have no clue what they are dealing with at all.

They thought it was funny to hear Mr C fade in and out. Of course, they did get a bit upset when he repeatedly asked them how their (dead) parents were. They didn’t seem to understand that Mr C is a danger to himself because of his short term memory issues especially. He could turn on the stove and forget, for example. Or he could just walk out the door and disappear. They were at least smart enough to get a key to the front door so that they could get back into the house. They said Mr C didn’t seem to believe that Mrs C was gone. I don’t think she has left him that long in a very long time. Then again, who is to say.

Mrs C finally arrived back from the wedding reception around midnight. John, the groom,  called the house before his mother left to let them know she was on her way. He talked to his father briefly, although John suspected that his father would not remember. He told the outlaws that his parent’s car would be dropped off the next day, in case his mother also forgot.

The outlaws spent the next morning saying awful things about the children of Mr and Mrs C. Again, they have no idea what it is like to take care of two people like this. And not for anything, but where Mr and Mrs C live, is even more isolated than the lake cabin. Without a car, things like grocery shopping are nearly impossible because of the lack of public transportation or a store within walking distance. They live on a hill – a rather steep one. Also, as I have already indicated, there is much drama, and with drama comes lies.

The truth is that they were snookered by a woman in her 90s. It turns out that Mrs C is Lucy after all.

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